A Full Circle Village: Postpartum Support As Told By A Doula

20 April 2024
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Hey lovelies!

I am writing this entry as I sit next to my 4-month old who has been challenged with sleep regressions. She’s finally asleep, which gives me several minutes to share insight in this post. 

As a doula, my journey has been about caring for and supporting women through one of the most transformative experiences of their lives – birth. While it took me a little over three decades to reach this point, birthwork has been a calling that has filled my heart with purpose. The families that I have began to impact has been nothing short of empowering, recognizing the strength that women have and their abilities to embrace that in one of the most sacred transitions. For me, birthwork is somewhat a gauntlet that I hold, and hope to pass down to my family as a piece of our legacy.

Birthing my last child was such a treasure as a doula. Not only did I truly understand my purpose from the mother’s perspective, but I’ve also been gracefully cared for and attended to by my doula. And though I’ve been longing to jump back in immediate, I’ve come face to face with the necessity of slowing down, of recognizing my own and my family’s needs. The demands of caring for a newborn left me with just enough energy to show up for my two older children, my partner, myself. It was during this vulnerable time that I discovered the true power of the village – of relying on others for support and guidance.

I was fortunate to have a wonderful postpartum doula by my side, guiding me through the challenges of early motherhood, offering practical advice and emotional support. To better explain, there wasn’t much casual about our meetings. There is a connection and an intimacy that you share with your postpartum doula; and the support of knowing someone is showing up for you how you show up for others is honestly one of the most rewarding experiences. Through her presence, I began to talk about what I needed, set realistic expectations of myself and my family, and how to improve my communication. Sure, I’m an adult and I know how to communicate but a sleep deprived mama of three struggles from time to time. Nonetheless, she taught me that to care for others, I must first care for myself.

Inspired by her example, I decided to turn my focus towards building a village of support for other mothers in need. I realized that while I may not be able to physically attend every birth or postpartum visit, I can still make a difference in the lives of mothers by offering my support in other ways.

One of the ways that I have been working on in the last several weeks is showing up for mamas. I’ve attended multiple community events around mamas, families, and kids. Taking this step in the right direction has helped me to understand through myself and my community what care is needed and how we need others to show up for us. While this is subjective and based on personal opinion in many cases, I truly believe circling around a mother, listening to her, affirming her, and giving access to resources is critical as it has been that way for me in my postpartum journey.

Beyond practical assistance, I have also focused on providing emotional support to mothers in need. Whether it’s a listening ear, a comforting hug, or words of encouragement, I strive to create a safe space where mothers can feel seen, heard, and supported.

Through these acts of kindness and compassion, I have witnessed the power of community in action. I have seen how a simple gesture of support can make a world of difference in a mother’s life, how it can help her navigate the ups and downs of motherhood with grace and strength.

So, to my fellow community, I want to remind you that we all play a role in this circle, each role a sacred act of love. Circling around the mother is a calling that requires all to be present with an open heart and the intentions to fully embrace her. And d mothers; it is your act of love and kindness to your womb-child that is essential; allowing others to circle you, help, support, embrace, carry those groceries, wash that laundry, help with homework, chop the veggies, running you a bath and more — this is your role in this love work. And even in those moments when you may need to slow down, remember that you are still a vital part of the village, a beacon of grace.

Let us continue to build our villages, to support each other in this beautiful journey. For in the end, it is through our acts of kindness and compassion that we truly make a difference in the lives of others.

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